The Fog of War, or Rather, We Had a Baby!

From Wikipedia:
“The fog of war is the uncertainty in situational awareness experienced by participants in military operations. The term seeks to capture the uncertainty regarding own capability, adversary capability, and adversary intent during an engagement, operation, or campaign.”

If that hasn’t been our life since September 14th, 2012, I’m not sure what has. What was the 14th you ask? Well, the most intense day of my life thus far: I finally met my little Baby S. Her name is Anne (for her Nana) Elektra (for my Nuna). She is both insanely adorable and insanely hungry. Which, well, is of course a good thing for her growth, my confidence in my ability to actually nurse her, my calorie burning, my wallet, etc. But not so much for that whole sleep thing. They tell you that you’ll never sleep again – they being people who must secretly want you to be as worn out as they were – and they’re right.

Holy shitballs, man.

I have never been so excited to see my bed at the end of the day, but take note that the end of the day is now 2am, and my respite is short before Annie starts all over again, usually at 5am. It’s like my boobs turn on the ugly lights at last call, and Annie stumbles to a friend’s dorm room, passing out for a few hours before waking up to rally bright and early before the big homecoming game. Every day. You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here.

I can’t tell you how my brain has basically melted in the past two weeks. Let’s leave out for minute (or for a few posts, maybe someday, maybe not) the actual “birth story” and all the physical effects of the whole shebang and stick with what I like to call “baby-onset Alzheimer’s”. BOA has led me to put the butter in the pantry, try to recycle a poopy diaper, spend too much time talking about a poopy diaper, and to think “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” is a good idea, amongst other transgressions.

But then, you look at that little face and you can’t not “awwwwwwww” in endless pride. Especially when she poops all over her daddy. Way to go, champ!

 

Annie at one week old

 

Annie at two weeks old, at Linvilla Orchards. I’m stoked she was born at the height of Pumpkinland time :). Clearly she was enamored….

Baby S’s Nursery

Well, she is three days late thus far so she isn’t actually IN these photos… but I wanted to show you a few pics of the room, which I have been calling the Nubb Hub (since I have been calling her Nubbs ever since she looked like a jellybean with nubbin arms and legs on the 8 week ultrasound). Ever see the old commercials for StubHub? Where the narrator is all “STUBB HUB!” in that weird little semi-singsong call? I can’t help but say “NUBB HUB!” every time I walk in here, even though I’m pretty certain they don’t even use that little line anymore. But whatever – it’s stuck now.

It’s pretty sunny in there as there’s another window just beyond the dresser I’m not showing, and the room for some reason seems to get the best afternoon light. Also, the yellow doesn’t hurt. I originally liked purple but we figured better safe than sorry just in case she came out a he.

You’ll see there really isn’t a theme per se, but I do think the room pulls together really well. And there are alot of polka dots. So I guess that counts for some consistency :)

My favorite parts, of course, are the things I made by hand for the room. Over the bookshelves (which I intended to cover the back of with fabric but never got around to doing) are the posters I drew and had printed to echo the awesome show screenprints we have all around the rest of the house. These are also for sale on my Etsy site, in case you want to buy them (which, come on, admit it, you know you do). The fabric bunting on the wall was something I had wanted to do for awhile, and was surprisingly easy; so easy I may go through my scraps and make a few sets to sell as well. Finally, the pink striped crib skirt you see was handmade by yours truly as well. There’s a pleat in the middle on each side that reveals a pink with pink polka panel as well; I didn’t capture it well on camera but trust me, it’s pretty cute.

And yes, yes that IS a stuffed doll of bacon in her crib. It talks too. No judging!

 

Update and Randomness

So, I know it’s been awhile. For the three of you (if any) who may be regularly following me, sorry ’bout that. I haven’t had any crafts to post about lately because all the crafts and designs I am currently working on are surprises for other people/designs that are not ready to be released yet. So, in order to keep you entertained/keep things rolling/prevent me from talking to myself (out loud, anyway), here’s a collection of random thoughts I have been having lately:

• Jell-o Jigglers are infinitely better than regular Jell-o. You should make them sometime soon to remind yourself. However, do not transport cut Jigglers in only a piece of Glad Press-n-Seal. That shit does exactly what it says, man, and you’ll smash the Jigglers trying to madly tear into the wrapping. When the edges of the wrapping get lost from sticking together so well, it’s murderous.
• One child on the way does not necessitate the immediate purchase of an SUV or minivan. Stop trying to tell me it will, it’s pretty infuriating. If you are already in the market for a new car and you plan on having 3+ of kids pretty quickly, it’s very financially practical to skip a new sedan and go right to the larger vehicle. If you live in a snowy, mountain-y area and need the 4WD and heft of an SUV, you should probably already have one. If you have, like, 75 Great Danes you need to cart around, a lage vehicle makes sense – but it doesn’t involve having kids, so I guess that is irrelevant here. Anyway, has everyone forgotten how our parents would shove, like, 4 of us in the back of a Ford Escort? Some cars can’t fit 3 car seats, different requirements now, I get that. But only ONE kid? “Oh but there’s so much you need to carry”? Eff that. What you need is to clean out your trunk and carry less shit. Strollers are big? No one told you to buy the huge one. You need room for groceries and a stroller? Use the back seat too. There’s also a diaper bag? Those are big purses, not full-sized adults. I once packed for a 10 day trip to Europe/Mediterranean cruise in solely a 1.5 x 1.5 x4 duffel bag, and for one week overseas packed in a high school backpack. I am fully confident I can fit the three of us in my hatchback Prius. I’m not going to go from 47mpg average to 18mpg and pay an assload for gas just so I can carry extra shit I won’t need in order to run to Jo-Ann Fabric and park poorly because I can’t handle the thing’s size. That, of course, being said, I will more than willingly capitulate to a Prius-V. Same seating, basically same exterior size, extra room in the taller hatchback, all while maintaining a 40+mpg? Yes please. Plus, I like turning on a car by pressing a button. It feels so technologically advanced. :)
• Speaking of hybrids, WaWa is opening a location in Florida. For those outside of Philly who don’t know what a WaWa is, Google it and find out what you’re missing from your empty, empty life. I cannot fathom how this deli-convenience store combo has not been recreated by another company – it’s genius. Sheetz is like a big 7-11 that doesn’t count, and I just found out about something called a GetGo in Western PA/Ohio-ish that doesn’t quite seem like the WaWa but merely like it wants to be when it grows up. The only downside: whether you spend 5 hours in WaWa working or 5 minutes grabbing a coffee, you come out smelling like you’ve been roasting the beans yourself. It’s strange, but worth it. In and out under 5 minutes, you are probably safe.
• My god, I LOVE me some bacon.
• I miss some things about being myself. Like loving wine with dinner. I hope that when I can regularly have it again I won’t have lost the taste for it, as well as the ground I was gaining on being able to detect nuances. I also miss going to the gym to weight train (not that I am a bodybuilder by any remote stretch – far from it), or going on long walks. My love of yoga is suffering too in these later weeks – getting into “happy baby” is now near impossible, and I hate feeling like I am too awkward to do things I never had any issues with before. Being physically forced to lose momentum is crap.
• I wonder how different I feel now than I used to feel before pregnancy. I mean, I KNOW I walk (well, more like penguin-waddle) slowly now, that I can’t sleep in one position for more than 3 hours on a good day, and that I handle the heat even worse than I already did. But I can’t remember how normal feels, it’s been so long. Am I more different than I realize, or am I a horrible whiner? Thank god I haven’t puked this whole time – no nausea, nothing. I guess that kind of good karma relegates me to a huge public poo on the delivery table and vomiting my Rita’s Water Ice at least 3x during labor. Ah well.
• When the hell is UPS getting here with my print order? “Out For Delivery” on package tracking is very vague.
• I still think that the 1990’s are not that far behind us. A date like 1995 doesn’t seem to me like that long ago; maybe it was because I was in high school then. I remember alot of that time: I was starting to form my adult personality, beginning to really understand that I was an artist – a genuine creative and not just a minor dabbler. I was incredibly into Pearl Jam at that time, something which I am still incredibly into. And somehow, being into one thing seems to stop time: like if you’re still in that “stage”, life isn’t exactly stagnant, but somehow seems to be frozen in space on one dimension. And then I remember that last year, “Pearl Jam Twenty” came out. For their 20th anniversary as a band. When you realize that you’ve loved something for 20 years, and that 20 years is well over half of your life, you simultaneously feel old and confused. Which I guess go hand in hand, really.
• And finally … “That’s what she said” jokes will never get old.

– Me